Some Recent Discoveries in the Benedetto Household
Karen and her parents have learned a lot in the past few months.
Here's a sampling.
- "No, Karen, that washcloth does not go in the toilet."
- "No, Karen, even if you find a creative way to get up onto
the table, you still can't play on it."
- Soap doesn't taste good.
- Karen's sippy-cup does fit inside Mommy's full glass
of water. *splash*
- Orange crayons don't taste very good.
- "No, Karen, Mommy's headband does NOT go in the toilet."
- If you flirt enough with the people at the next table in the
restaurant, they will give you their free kiddie toys, if they don't
have kids.
- Soap doesn't taste any better the second time.
- Blue crayons don't taste any better than
orange crayons.
- If Mommy lets Karen brush Mommy's teeth, Karen will splash
toothpaste all over Mommy's face.
- If Mommy lets Karen splash toothpaste all over Mommy's face,
Karen will let Mommy actually brush Karen's teeth.
- "No, Karen, we don't color the window sill
orange!"
- "NO, KAREN, even if you try to color the window sill faster
as Mommy chases you, she'll still take the crayon away when she
catches you."
- A very pregnant Mommy can't chase Karen as quickly as she
used to.
- Jumping up (at 8 months pregnant) to chase Karen is a lot
harder than it used to be.
- Hey, look, the window sill is very
orange lately.
- Washing pen marks out of clothes isn't that hard.
- "No, Karen, that infant bouncy seat is for the new baby."
- Wow! Karen's learned to say "Mama, stduk!" when she gets
stuck in the infant bouncy seat.
- If Karen walks sideways for a while, she will get Mommy and
Daddy to laugh.
- "NO, KAREN! Mommy's bras DO NOT GO IN THE TOILET!!!"
- Purple crayons really
don't taste any better than blue
crayons.
- If Karen has a bag a raisins in her carseat and you hear
*shake-shake* and Daddy can't grab it in time, you will have
raisins all over the back seat of your car.
- Karen has somehow picked up a Boston accent that you can
hear when she says the letter "R" and the words "car" and "star".
- A toddler views a baby gate around something not as a
deterrent, but as a fascinating challenge requiring all her
time, efforts, and attention.
- Hey, I can fit my index fingers up both nostrils at the same time!
- Any time Karen does something funny like that, she will giggle like crazy
but will have stopped before her parents can get the camera out. (Sorry, no
pictures.)
- If you ignore a toddler with her fingers shoved halfway up her sinuses,
she will stop doing it sooner or later.
- Reading Goodnight Moon six million times will cause Mommy's
brain to shut down.
- Daddy reads Goodnight Moon a lot these days.
- If Wheel of Forture comes on TV, Karen gets frustrated
because the contestants won't choose "O" even though she's yelling
at them to pick "O".
- Karen has a shadow!
- An 18-month-old sounds very cute when she says "toilet paper".
- "YES, Karen, toilet paper DOES go in the toilet."
- Karen's shadow won't stop following her no matter how concerned
she gets.
- (Recent re-dicovery) People in public still give rude stares and
dirty looks to very pregnant women.
- Apparently, people in public still think Danielle is a
13-year-old pregnant teenager.
- People in public have no problem making comments to pregnant
women like, "Wow, you're really HUGE! You must be due in a couple days."
(Note: that's an exact quote, from a total stranger to Danielle at
only seven months pregnant.)
- Karen has learned that the name of Aunt Tricia's and Uncle Jeromy's
new baby will be "Chris".
- Karen thinks Mommy's and Daddy's new baby's name is "Chris".
- Mommmy and Daddy try with all their might to convince Karen
that the new baby's name will be "Amy", if it really is a girl.
- Karen no longer solemnly states that the baby's name is "Chris".
Instead, she giggles hysterically as she pats Mommy's belly and calls
the baby "Chris".
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